Cook Crimes
Scene Name: Cook Crimes
Date & Time: 08.22.2011
Characters: Hue & Jazyl

This scene started at Infinity with a group of other members. After some fun and shenanigans, Hue and Jazyl had to rush out or risk being pummeled by the barkeep. This is what ensued…


The Black Lotus

Massive in volume there is plenty of room here for dozens of occupants to enjoy their time peacefully and in luxury. Looking out over a beautiful landscape is easy to do with windows as large as the walls, from floor to ceiling. Trees and bodies of water with the occasional native bird passing on by is quite often heard to be the good conversation starters.

The walls that aren't covered in glass have been painted a pristine black, with matching floors to go with the flow. In the center of this restaurant the tables and seats are arranged and extend towards the windows. A few are even pulled off to the side and encircled with black wiring frame and some sheer silk for the illusion of privacy.

Each of the tables is made of white marble. Circular in shape it sprouts from the floor and comes together in the center where the black plates connect at a tip. In specific, custom made shapes these dishes pile onto one another like petals around a flower, all the while giving ample room for the patrons to eat comfortably. Behind each set is a leather white chair with black framing, with an average of six around every table.


Hue runs out of Infinity, down the docks and leaps into a boat, forcing Jazyl to scramble after her if he wishes to keep up. She launches their craft, heads up stream, and bounds through the portal as if the barkeep were still hot on their heels. She turns through to Duabyssus and races down the streets. In their travels, she snatches a scarf from a vendor and loops it around her neck, covering her collar. She casts Jazyl a quick, guilty glare. "What? I'm just borrowing it…"
With that, she shoves Tongues the lizard back into her pocket and steers her wolf companion through the streets and into The Black Lotus.

Jazyl easily keeps astride of Hue as they make their escape, loping with an easy gait that hardly even leaves him breathless by the time they hit the docks and take a boat, leaving his entourage of butterflies well behind them along with the bar keeper. Their rapid pace through the city suits the wolf right down to the ground, his tail wagging in synergy with his pacing. He does give her a funny look when she snags the scarf, but mostly out of curiosity over why she would need such a thing than for the act of theft itself.

Their arrival at the Black Lotus leaves Jazyl a little bewildered as he takes in the pristine establishment, with its polished glass walls overlooking the scenery. "We should be out there," he remarks, rubbing shoulders with Hue and giving her an affectionate lick on the cheek, quite naturally feeling quite close to her after that brief escapade. "You're not going to start soemthing here too are you?" he asks half reproachfully, half hopefully, his tail wagging behind him. In the doorway, something colourful briefly flits across the doorjamb and out of sight so fast that… well, it was probably imagined…

"Me?" Hue hisses, trying not to start a scene. "Who brought the winged mob to the vamp bar, man?" She snickers and rubs at her cheek, scrunching her face cutely as Jazyl laps at her soft features. She shakes her head, tossing that wild mane - now decorated with butterfly carcasses - much sadness, but very attractive. She grabs the wolf's paw-hand and starts streering him past the hostess and through the crowd. "We're going to where the fun is," she explains. Straight to the kitchen…

Neither of them had paid too much attention to the butterflies that had "expired" in Hue's hair, but had they done so, they would have seen the little creatures crystalise, and then slowly turn to a fine, almost imperceptible dust that carried away on a non-existent breeze. Had they been exceptionally observant, they would have witnessed the dust slowly gathering above their heads and reconstituting itself into a myriad of tiny, colourfully winged forms. But of course, they were too busy bickering and heading full staem towards the kitchen to notice any of that.
"Hey now," Jazyl protested, unable to refrain from smiling at Hue's expression upon being licked. "I didn't choose to have them follow me. They were a… gift, from a friend," he explained, or tried to anyway. Hue, meanwhile, had snagged his paw and was dragging him along - not the least bit unwillingly mind - towards the kitchen. Truthfully, the smell of the food alone would have convinced him to go. "What sort of fun anyway?" he asked, his wet canine nose flaring at the scent coming from their destination.

"I dunno, but…" The double door swings open before them revealing the bustle of chefs mingling to and fro. "Everything in a good movie has something wild happening in a kitchen. Besides, I'm hungry." Her stomach lets loose a growl. Hue turns around, talking as she collects a chef coat and hat. "A /gift/? That some friend you have. Do they do anything, other than get me kicked out of my bar. Do you realize that was my first alcoholic drink in two months? Do you know how hard it is to get anyone to seel me booze?" She grunts and works about guiding Jazyl's arms into the coat and tucking the mushroom-shaped chef hat over his head.

Jazyl tries his best to follow along with Hue's train of logic, mutely asking, "What's a movie?" before she steam-rolls over his question with her tirade on drinks and such and trying to dress him up in the queer dress of the other humanoids in this place full of delicious smells. The wolf might have put up more of a struggle at being used as Hue's personal dress-up doll, but for the enticing aromas overwhelming his sensitive olfactory senses. "What is this wonderful place?" Jazyl asks, tongue lolling out of his muzzle and the chef hat sitting cocked over one perked ear, giving him an altogether absurd look, like a cartoon wolf about to cook up the three little pigs.
Meanwhile, out in the resteraunt proper, panicked customers fled their tables as a terrifying cloud of eye-searing colours exploded through the front door, swarming the room in seach of something, or someone in particular. Only the general din of the kitchen kept its occupants from noticing the riot occuring in the other room just yet…

"Movies? Kitchen? My Gods, are you from the stoneage or something, Pup?" She grins and pinches his tongue gently in her fingers, just because its there and she can. She wipes her fingertips off on his jacket then, and dons her own before leading him straight into the fray of bustling chefs. "Come on, time to grab some grub…" She guides them straight towards where a few steaks are sizzling next to a bubbling pot of warm clam chowder. She takes a moment to mock an orgasm-worthy expression towards Jazyl before hefting up a spoon and dipping into the stewpot. She brings the creamy dish to her lips, sipping at it.

Jazyl reflexively licks at Hue's hands when she pinches his tongue, his tail wagging a little more and the big wolf giving her a friendly cuddle from behind before letting her guide them to the pots of stew. Though not entirely familiar with human expressions, something about the face Hue pulls at him then sends the blood rushing to his muzzle and he glances sheepishly at his feet, almost bucking his chef's hat off his ears. However, his stomach provides ample distraction for him, those steaks calling out to him. Nimbly he picks one up from the pan, passing it between his paws as he tries to handle the hot food item and eagerly sinks his teeth into the still-bloody slab of meat, causing the steaming juices to dribble down his furry chin.
One might think the chefs would object to this behaviour from the two interlopers, especially the furry one since the last thing any restaurant wants is a furry hooligan bounding about the place, shedding in the pantry and giving health and safety ample excuse to shut the place down for a plethora of health code violations. But, the staff had all conveniently been called off to battle the cloud of butterflies now infesting the other room, each chef wading into battle with saucepans and spoon ladles at the ready, swinging valiantly at the insect invaders, and occasionally thwapping eachother in the process.
"Hmm… Where'd ever'budy go?" Jazyl asks Hue amidst a mouthfully of deliciously juicy steak.

With a ladel at her lips, Hue watches with wide-eyed amazement as the cooks begin to troop out like warriors - warriors resembling puffy marshmellow men, given their attire, but still! "I have no idea…" Hue mumbles and waits till the door swings shut to…
"Woop woop! You are my lucky charm, my handsome wolf-man!" The collared femme grabs Jazyl's face in her hands, mashing her lips to his steak-sodden muzzle, and places a big kiss right on him. With that she spins around and proceeds to stuff her pockets full of goodies. Cookies. Cake. Breads, cheeses and fruits. Tongues squeaks a few times, but hushes either because he's too busy eating the hidden munchies, or because he's been smothered. Hue goes about this a moment longer until… What's this? A poor, lonely bottle of chocolate syrup. Well, there is only one thing to do! "Un guarde!" She shouts and leaps up and around, squirting chocolate sauce at her partner in cooking-crime.

The compliment catches jazyl off guard, the kiss even moreso, leaving the big wolf guy standing there torn between chasing hue for another, or finishing the steak in his paws. He takes a half-step towards her, but then a distinctive burning sensation in his digits reminds him that the steak is still hot! He juggles it from paw to paw like a hot potato, blowing on his burnt digits, then promptly forgetting all about the kiss as the temptation of the steak more readily presents itself to him. He wolfs it down (no pun intended) in short order, and is going for the second one when his finely tuned senses alert him to danger, a poisonous smell filling his nose. He ducks just in time to avoid a jet of deadly venom shooting directly at his face then whirls on his attacker, fangs and claws bared, only to see Hue standing there with a bottle pointed at him. "what are you doing, that stuff's dangerous!" he yowls. "Put it down before you kill someone!"

If Hue had cute wolfie ears, they would droop down in shame. The colorful femme stares wide-eyed at the vicious stance her canine companion has taken. Blink blink. "Wha'? It's chocolate." She makes a display of opening her mouth wide and lolling her tongue forward. "Pheee? Maaaaaaa!" She tips her head back and fills her mouth with the chocolate sauce. Half-way through a mouthful her head suddenly snaps upright and she tosses the bottle clear across the room. "Oh Snap, Dogg! You're a dog!" She swallows the chocolate and swats herself in the forehead. "I'm sorry." She shuffles forward stops at the counter to idly examine something, before finally turning back to Jazyl and holds her arms out for a hug.

"By the Huntress, DON'T EAT TH-" it's too late though, as Hue gleefully swallows down a mouthful of the "poison", Jazyl seeming to sag in utter despair, too late to stop her. He whimpers pitifully at her, unsure of her meaning when she calls him a dog, explaining, "There is something in that sauce, I can smell it, a poison common on my home world. It causes a slow, agonising death, and there is no cure once you ahve swallowed it…" he says in a muted voice. She apologies, though he is unsure what for, perhaps for not listening to him, and he hugs her tightly, an inutterably sad expression on his lupine features. "No, I'm so sorry, Hue," he whines pitifully, "I should have been more aware, then this would never have happened…"

"Oh, you poor, silly, confused, sheltered, adorable, fuzzy… thing." Hue nuzzles her face against Jazyl's chest and peeks up from beneath her colorful lashes and wild, rainbow mane. "It's chocolate. It's a food, but it's unhealthy for canines. I'm not going to die. See?" She steps back and lifts her top, poking at the stretch of her bare, porcelain stomach.

"You're… you're not?" the wolf asks, staring into her face intently, disbeleivingly. "You mean to say, this… "chocolate"… it's not poisonous to you?" he asks, gazing at her uncertainly, paws set on her upper arms as he regards her, his tail swishing back and forth slowly.
meanwhile, back on the battlefield, the tide seems to be turning against the chefs, as they seem to rack up more and more wounded, chiefly having obtained concussions and broken noses from their fellow chefs' ineffectual flailing of various kitchen implements. The butterflies, what few are felled by said flailing, simply reconstitute themselves and continue to wreak havok until at last the line of the chefs falters, and the nightmarishly colourful swarm starts fluttering towards the kitchen door…

The wild slave girl shifts her weight, popping on hip dramtically out to the side while propping her hands on her waist. "Would I lie to you? Eh?" She shakes her head and slithers around Jazyl, weaving under his arm to grab the remaining steak from the grill. She wriggles back around and stuffs the juice meat slice into his pocket. "For later. Now, what else do the have around here…" Hue begins to pull open draws and cabinets, unaware of the impending cloud of sticky-legged, winged, bugs despite the jaws theme that seems to be playing in the background for all of us looking in from the outside.
The finds a turkey baster, waggles her brows, and stores it in her jacket. A collender for her head, a sponge on a stick, and a few funnels. By the time she is done, she looks like she has elephantitis beneath her chef coat.

Jazyl watches mutely as Hue goes about the kitchen, totally carefree, sliding the steak in his pocket, then stocking up on the Goddess only knows what. He follows after her, wuffing softly to get her attention as he leans in and kisses her tenderly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Of course, a kiss in this instance means a -very- generous lick, but it was well-meant. "I'm glad you're ok," he murrs, cuddling Hue tightly and grinning as she rattles with the contents of her coat. Flickers of colour out of the corner of Jazyl's eye draw his attention to the door now, which is currently behind Hue, and the bewinged critters fluttering their way in. "Uh… Hue, is there another way out?" he asks, taking her hand in his large paw and pointing over her shoulder. "Cuz I think we really need one right about now…"

Hue wiggles and squirms playfully scritching Jazyl's cheek as he licks her face. Both brows reach towards her hairline, though, as he poses the question of another exit. "They're baaaAAAaaack…" she coos in a extra creepy tone. With that, she rushes forward without daring a glance back, reeling her canine companion in after her as she jostles and jingles with all her stolen goods through the kitchen. "You need new friends!" She shouts, as she drives them towards the back exit, and out into the open. She slams shut the door and holds firm on the doorknob as she looks to Jazyl…
"Listen," she begins in a suddenly serious tone, straining against the door as if the butterflies had magicly learned the mechanics of the doorknob. "I have a place we can go and hide, but you can't tell anyone. Not a soul! Got me? Now, on three…"

"THREE!" She lets go of the door and again they are sprinting through the streets, straight through the portal and back into Solis.
Jazyl yips and laughs in pelasure as he clearly enjoys this little game - in only he were aware of the actual trail of devastation in their wake, the livelihoods lost, the subsequent years of counselling for people who had suddenly developed acute mottephobia, and of course the dinners ruined. He didn't have a buggering clue about any of that, he just knew that he was having a great time with Hue. He presses against her as she blocks the door, making to block it himself whilst taking the opportunity to nuzzle her face, his tail wagging. "alright on three…" he repeats, licking her lips sweetly, then giving a yip of surprise as she bolts off. "Oi! You forgot how to count!" he barks, chasing her through the portal to wherever she wanted to take them.

Hue leads her companion through a sewer system and then further beyond into a tunnel that has obviously been chiseled through the grounds more recently. They arrive in a wide open cove, with nooks cut into the earth. The cubbies are shallow, but long, and are arranged with mismatches blankets and pillows to denote their purpose for sleeping arrangements. Unmatched furniture is scattered about, while shelving units are filled with hodge-podge dinnerware stolen from this or that place.
"Home sweet home," Hue cooes, as she plops onto a love seat that is in a state of obvious disrepair. She begins to unlace her boots as she indulges a sigh of relief.

Hue kicks off her boots and unpacks her chef jacket of its bulk. She lofts a brow as she looks over Jazyl's hand-paws. With any easy expression, though, she offers her palms and takes his assistance in pulling herself upright once more. "Yeah, it'll do, I suppose. I had a good time, too, Fuzzy Bottom."

Jazyl's smile brightens as he takes her hands in his paws and pulls her up into his arms, his tail wagging more expressively with her against him. His chef clothes had long since been discarded, tearing away easily on his non-human frame. "Hmm, if I am fuzzy bottom, what does that make you?" he asks with a grin, pressing his nose to hers and licking her mouth gently, while giving her bottom a friendly squeeze.

"That makes me nice and smooth in comparison. I shave." She grins and winks at her companion, drawn up to tiptoe by the little grope on her rear. She pushes her button nose to his cold, canine snout and indluges a kiss from her partner in crime. Only then does she drop back to her heels and spin about. "Now, make yourself at home, but as for me - I'm going to go wash the bug dust out of my hair." She laughs aloud and reveals the stretch of her bare, pearlescent back as she pulls away her shirt and disappears into a small showering alcove off to the side of the A.W.O.L. cavern.

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